Think on These Things
March 2000
In
our January, 2000 issue we discussed raising children and emphasized the
father’s responsibility in this regard. We
will devote this and the next issue to the individual responsibilities of
husbands and wives in the family relationship.
There is much confusion over what the bible teaches in this regard.
The apostle Paul gave a command in Eph. 5:25-31: “Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He
might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or
wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.
So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He
who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but
nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also {does} the church, because we
are members of His body. For this
cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and
the two shall become one flesh.”
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The goal of this page is to promote morality and justice in our society (Prov. 14:23).
Religion
in Politics. Most of our
political leaders try to get elected by any means possible, and if this includes
playing on the religious prejudices of their constituencies, they seem to care
less. The truth with regard to what
the New Testament teaches about God’s acceptance of people from all racial
groups is clear. Gal 3:27-29:
“For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with
Christ. There is neither Jew nor
Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female;
for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And
if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to
promise.” And that promise was
(Gen 22:18): “And in your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed,
because you have obeyed My voice.” That
seed was Christ (Gal. 3:16), and the blessings of Christ extend to all peoples
everywhere (Mt. 28:18f).
This
is what the bible teaches on this subject.
Those who would withhold their fellowship because of race or nationality
are wrong, and they cannot begin to claim to be in accord with God’s word.
How much pain our society would be spared if we would not just give lip
service to this principle, but live it out every day in our lives.
But
there are also those who glory in being the victims.
In fact, their political power depends so totally upon a continued war
between the races that they will take every opportunity to drive a wedge of
hatred between the races. Denying
individual responsibility, people are all too willing to blame all of their
problems on some other group, so they
are easily led into this manipulation. This
ploy is itself color blind, with the likes of the KKK on one end and Jesse
Jackson and Al Sharpton on the other. As long as people blindly give their allegiance to such
racist demagogues, there will never be peace between the races and this country
will constantly be at battle with itself. Let
us learn to love and respect our fellow man regardless of race (Mt. 22:39).
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The
following is commanded (Eph 5:25): “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” It is difficult to describe the full implications of “just
as Christ also loved the church” without a knowledge of the entire New
Testament. We will try to hit the
high points.
First,
recognize that Christ’s love was totally unrequited. He did not love us because we loved him first (Rom. 5:8).
We do not recommend that any man marry a woman who does not love him; but
if one should find himself in such an arrangement, this is no excuse for
disobeying the command to love his wife.
Second,
out of love for us, Christ never asks us to do anything that is beyond our
ability (1 Cor. 10:13), nor did he ever require something from his disciples
that was merely to satisfy his own pleasure.
Husbands should always put their families, and in this case their wives,
best interests before their very own. This
is precisely what Christ did, and that is exactly what is commanded.
Men have no right to expect their wives to obey Christ in subjecting
themselves to them if they are unwilling to follow Christ in this regard.
For, without such love it is inevitable that the husband will expect much
more than he has a right to.
“But,”
complains the man, “only one person can wear the pants in this family.”
How true. But what kind of
man does it take to treat the “bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” (Gen
2:23) like he would some hired servant, or, even in some cases, like a
prostitute. Big macho man.
On
the other hand, it takes a real man to be like Jesus.
Our Lord appeals to our obedience, not by the power of force or law, but
by the power of love. (2 Cor
5:14-15): “For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one
died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, that they who live should
no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their
behalf.” Out of such a love, a
relationship will evolve that will result in the wife living for her husband and
the husband living for his wife. This
is the “oneness” that our Lord expects us to strive for in our marriages.
[Next month: the wife’s responsibilities.]
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“Wives, be subject to your own
husbands as to the Lord.”
but
in the previous verse, Paul stated (Eph. 5:21) ...
“... be subject to one another
in the fear of Christ.”
The
same expression is used in both places; it is not even repeated (in the
original) in verse 22. So “be
subject” must have identically the same meaning in both.
Now, we affirm that a wife must be in subjection to her own husband,
since that is exactly what Eph. 5:22 commands.
However, it is essential that we understand what the bible means by “be
subject.” This is not an
unqualified term that gives the husband license to make any and all demand that
he wants. It is qualified by the
principles of love that must exist for a marriage to meet God’s approval.
Those who fail to apply these principles are not observing all of God’s
word (Mt. 4:4).
In
vs. 21, when it says “be subject to one another,” it is speaking to all
Christians. Thus, if a husband and
wife are both Christians, there is a sense in which he is to be in subjection to
her. How are we to be subject to
one another? One answer is given in
Phil. 2:3-4: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility
of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do
not {merely} look out for your own personal interests, but also for the
interests of others.” Now, if
this is the attitude that a man is to have for his fellow Christians, can you
give one good reason that he should not have this regard and much, much more for
his own wife? Subjection is a two
way street, and it takes a real man to understand that and to take advantage of
his wife’s strengths.
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