The disasters in the news almost daily should alert each one of us to the inevitability of grief coming to our own personal lives. Grief results from a variety of events: death, betrayal, persecution, accident, sickness, and other losses. "Rain" can either be beneficial or harmful, and "God sends the rain on the just and the unjust" (Mt. 5:45). It is the very sweetness of this life that compounds the pain of our losses. No one is immune; the consequences of sin afflict us all, even if we are not the perpetrators of it.
Our purpose this month is to address our own personal preparation for grief. Those who are wise recognize that we will greatly multiply our suffering (and that of others) if we are not prepared for grief. However, we need to be very careful to distinguish between this and our approach toward helping others through grief. The information presented here, while true, might seem quite insensitive, and we do not recommend it to ease the pain of those who are already grieving. [We plan to devote next month's issue to biblical teaching on helping others through grief.]
God does not want us to suffer pain, and mankind was not created with this in mind. However, as sin entered this world, sinful acts took their toll on both the guilty and the innocent. Since sin is the cause of all grief, the only way to prepare for grief is to keep ourselves as free from sin as we possibly can. Not only will this prepare us personally, it will also minimize the grief which we cause others. What greater gift could we give to our loved ones than for them to know that when we depart this life we are certain of eternity with our Lord?
These bible study questions provide assistance to you in studying and teaching God's word. The answers are quite clear, and they prove that we can have the same understanding as the apostles had by reading what they wrote (Ephesians 3:4). We challenge you to open your bible and establish the truth.
ON PAUL'S THORN IN THE FLESH (2 COR. 12:1-10)
Who is Paul obviously referring to in verse 1? (1)
Does it matter if Paul was in the body or outside of the body? (2)
What did he hear when he was caught up into Paradise? (4)
If Paul gloried in this experience, could he take credit for it? (5)
Does Paul contrast this experience with his own weaknesses? (5)
Would any normal person who had such an experience be tempted to glory in it? (6)
What was given to Paul to prevent him from being exalted? (7)
Do we know what the thorn in the flesh was? Does it matter? In fact, does not knowing make the passage more generally applica- ble? (see verse 10)
What did Paul do to try to get rid of it? (8)
What was the Lord's answer to this? What reason was given? (9)
What was Paul's response to this? What should our's be? (9-10)
The bible is quite rich in providing us with the purposes which are served by personal suffering. By understanding these teachings we can be as prepared as possible for that inevitable day in which grief visits our door.
The very ancient book of Job comes to grips with this question, and while much of it is challenging, there are some very clear teachings as well. For example, the losses that we incur are not necessarily caused by our own sin. Human nature inevitably attempts to assign some such cause when we see others suffer -- perhaps to declare ourselves immune. It is clear from the first two chapters, however, that while God will keep His promises to us over the long term, he might allow considerable hardship along the way.
The "why" of Job's sufferings may never be fully answered, but without the documentation of this man's unfortunate experiences, we would be at a severe loss. Could he have suffered these things so that we can better understand this aspect of human nature? We see the abandonment of the support of his wife and friends as well as his own moments of doubt. However, ultimately Job overcame the greatest of losses, and ultimately God blessed him for the faithfulness which he had.
The new testament elaborates much more fully as to the purpose of suffering. Read about Paul's thorn in the flesh (2 Cor. 12:1-10). He considered his suffering a gift for which he was thankful since it: (1) kept him from pride, (2) made others recognize the truth was of God's power, not his, and (3) reoriented him toward a total dependence on God.
Similarly, Hebrews 12:1-13 tells us that the chastening that we endure is analogous to the discipline which a loving father gives a child. "All chastening seemeth for the present to be not joyous but grievous; yet afterward it yieldeth peaceful fruit unto them that have been exercised thereby."
As we meditate upon these passages we gain an appreciation for God's larger purpose for us despite the uncertainties of this present world. These things can only be understood if we, as Christians, recognize ourselves to be mere "sojourners and pilgrims" in this world (1 Pet. 2:11). The answer to the "why" question lies in God's desire to have us with him forever, which will be the blessing of those who trust in His way.
Life goes on . . .
but the great wise preacher Solomon said (Ecclesiastes 7:2):
"It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting: for this is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart."
The expression "life goes on" holds an important truth: There is an extreme of grief that is quite harmful, and to prolong our grieving too long is not healthy for ourselves or those around us. There should be no guilt in resuming one's normal life after the healing process is over.
But compare the common expression with the sobering words of Solomon, who states that the wise person will "lay ... to his heart" the reality that we are all mortal. There is a sense in which life should not just "go on." For, "...it is appointed unto man once to die, and after this cometh judgment" (Heb. 9:27).
This "value" of grief does not mean that we should minimize our heartfelt sorrow for and assistance to those who are suffering from their loss. However, by maturing in our understanding of the role that grief plays in our lives, we can be better prepared for that sure and certain day in which we will be touched by it.